A Conversation with Self

Saturday night

Me: I should be healthy. Like actually eating lunch during the school week. And the weekend too. 

Self: Yeah, that’s a great idea! We like food!

Me: I’ve always though that a V-8 would make a nice lunch. I get my veggies, some nutrition, and it would totally balance out my morning munching on yogurt/granola bars/cereal. (My body requires a good balance of sweet and savory.) 

Self: Ooh, we like V-8! And we know you’re mostly thinking about what a great lunch it would make because we’re at Wal-Mart and it’s on sale. You can get an extra two cans for normal price! Hooray for bargains.

Me: Hey, I’m at Wal-Mart and V-8 is on sale, and it is in cute little cans! That’s such the perfect thing to leave at my desk. I’ll never be hungry again! 

Self: Yeah right. 
 
I buy the V-8. And it is low sodium, which means I won’t OD on sodium.

Today 

Me: I’m hungry for lunch and was in too much of a hurry to grab the tupperware of food sitting in the fridge waiting for me to grab it. 

Self: We are way too busy if we can’t manage to grab a measly tupperware container…

Me: I’ll try my V-8! I’m so excited to open this and be all healthy and good things like that.

Self: Food!

Me and Self: Ummm…. this stuff isn’t so good.

Me: Wow, this sure tastes… healthy.

Self: Not satisfying. Whose bright idea was it to buy “Low Sodium”??

Me: I have seven more of these things to get through. 

Self: Forget daily percent values. Never buy V-8 without all its preservative salt. EVER. 

Me and Self: Ingredients:
     — Reconstituted vegetable juice blend (Water and concentrated juices of tomatoes, carrots, celery, beets, parsley, lettuce, watercress, spinach), potassium chloride, sugar, magnesium, salt, natural flavoring, vitamin C, disodium guanylate, disodium inosinate, citric acid.


Self: DIE SODIUM! They killed it. 


Me: That was a disappointing lunch. Vending machine?

This is it, except I got 2 extra cans for free, so it’s an 8 pack. Lucky  me!