Feelings

The night A– and I became officially, exclusively a couple, I could hardly breathe for happiness. When he left that night, I gazed upwards, feeling like my soul was going to bust out of my body because it was so happy. It was unlike any other feeling of happiness I have ever felt… and I think I’ve had a fair share of happy events in my life. (Sad ones, too, but that’s besides the point). Like John Mayer said, I felt “bigger than my body” and it was amazing. 

I felt a hint of that again on Sunday morning. I was sitting next to A– watching conference. A few minutes previously he had looked over at me, saying something with his eyes. I’m not exactly sure what, but he looked at me… not my face but me. He followed up with a kiss on my cheek. You know, often it is the small, stolen kiss that says something bigger than what it is. So while I wasn’t expecting it, I wasn’t super surprised when that expanding feeling of joy washed over me. It interesting to me……. for so long I’ve built a perspective that life is hard and more often than not I’ll spend a fair amount of time waiting for good things to come along. (Good things being big things like marriage, family, etc). So after five years of waiting for someone to come into my life, perhaps it’s understandably hard for me to realize that at some point, the things we wait for come! In those fleeting moments, I felt that perhaps, just maybe, my time really is coming to fruition. It could all be wishful thinking, because of course there is more than just me involved. But hey…. at some point things work out. Who’s to say this isn’t that point?