Rainy Monday

Okay, so I don’t know if today is actually very rainy, but if sure feels like it is. I’m not sure what triggered it… maybe it started in Relief Society yesterday when I tried to make a comment in class and got attacked by the teacher for it. That was pleasant. Maybe it was when we drove past a neighborhood I don’t want to be near still. Maybe it was the acknowledgement that I’m going to be one of those who gets married “later in life,” in contrast to the “young marrieds” so prevalent in LDS culture. Maybe I just get sad sometimes, even on the best of days. I’d like to think that that’s okay every now and then. It does get a bit more challenging when I add on a Monday like this though. 

Job searching is the bane of my existence right now. I’ve applied for probably 20-30 jobs in the past few weeks, and have heard approximately nothing from them. One in particular was exciting for me… an editor position near Provo. I was able to make some connections and start networking. The reply I got from one individual today felt like that Relief Society attack yesterday. I truly just wanted to network, of course with the hope that that would be advantageous in my job hopes. After “not implying” that my goal was to get a backdoor interview for a job, the person then got on my case for trying to talk to people while I had a job application in. Person again implied that I was just trying to get the inside track for this job I applied for. What do you say to that? Feeling attacked, I responded saying that I was looking into the industry with many contacts and did not want to create a conflict of interest. 

Is it really too much to ask that I obtain gainful employment? I have a Masters degree. I feel like that counts for nothing positive on my behalf. The one job that’s seeking me out is answering phones for customer service….. I did that before I had bachelor’s degree! I’m just really at a loss as to what to do, and my confidence is not where it needs to be to do more job stuff today. 

In case this read wasn’t what you hoped to read, stay tuned for me sharing my recent missionary experience!! Now that is something to smile about.