The mighty 400

Published by Erica on

This is my 400th post! I was going to put a cool picture on here to celebrate that, but most of them were of motorcycles and schmancy cars. And I’m a little bit off-put by motorcycles still, thanks to the X, and fancy cars remind me of someone I’m currently working to forget. So…. no pictures on this one. 

I did want to say a little something about how thankful I am for faith and hope. It still isn’t easy, and hasn’t been easy, to feel the familiar sting of a mis-timed or mis-matched relationship. It’s because it’s familiar that makes it hurt more. Re-opening the old wound, scratching at the scar… well, you get the image. I’ve been striving very much to move forward, and to do so with faith and hope. The gray days of February make it hard sometimes. I’ll openly admit that I get a little SAD (seasonal affective disorder) during the winter. And when sad things happen during the cold, drab, dreary winter months, the challenges honestly do seem to be amplified. I was extremely thankful to see the sun pop out from behind the clouds today as I drove in to work. My mood immediately lifted. 

Faith. Hope. Faith that the Lord has a plan for my life. Faith that it is a better plan than mine. Hope that He’s working things out for my good right now, not just making me wait for the sake of waiting. Hope that it’s true – when the right one comes, it will be easy and natural and it won’t have hiccups and it won’t get derailed. Faith has to come first. Then hope. I think what it comes down to is I always have faith in these things. I know the Lord directs my paths. But hope: that is when I feel happy and positive about this knowledge. Faith seems to be the last shred of reason and sensibility that I cling to when I’m at my lowest and saddest. Hope seems to be the positivity and forward-looking that peeks through the darkness and motivates me to push through. 

One of the girls I visit teach recently got engaged. She’s beautiful, smart, talented, down to earth… and she’ll be 30 this year. I felt a little selfish as we visited yesterday, because it’s my stewardship to aid her, not the other way around. However, as I asked about her engagement and the fun details of her life right now, I found myself asking and hearing from her the story of faith and trust that brought her to this young man. It wasn’t anything spectacular or even very different. She wasn’t trying to do one thing or another to secure a man, but was simply living her life and pursuing her dreams. One thing she said stood out to me above the rest.

He wasn’t the kind of guy she expected or thought she’d end up with. But, he is everything that she needs. In ways that she didn’t even realize at first. 

I know it’s coming. Something’s coming, something good, if I can wait….. I am continually buoyed up by my family. My friends. My deepening relationship with Heavenly Father. My interactions with the scriptures and talks. I’m thankful I have hard times to wear off some of my rough edges. 


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