Creative Wanderings

I feel like I’m swimming, lately. Which way is up? Where am I going? I’ve got a general idea, but I’m still under water, just a little bit. Under Water10/6/09 Shimmering images dartAcross the wavering surfaceAnd I watch from beneath.The world is just a little upside- DownWhere do I go now?Center is not where it used to beImages, colors, lights ShiftSomething is missingIt’s not quite rightBut the remedy is not under waterAnd I am.I can only attempt– Push–With my feeble strengthDirections unknown

I had to google the phrases, just to make sure I hadn’t copied someone else’s work. I saw this poem in one of my journals (ask me how many journals I have). I assume it was written between 4/6/08 and 4/11/08, because it is on a page between those two dated entries. There is absolutely nothing else on the page, besides a pen squiggle, to help me identify what inspired the poem. It doesn’t even seem complete….. but since I have no idea what I was talking about, I really can’t go back and finish it now, can I? In greatest humility, I was impressed with the imagery and lyric (which is why I had to google it and see if it was copied). For your enjoyment: the poem I didn’t know I wrote. Face hid behind fanEver unattainableAlways unto death Here within the courtScents, sight, and ceremonyUseless days on Read more…

I was dashing out the door to school/work this morning, happy to have an effective window scraper (sad that I don’t have underground parking anymore), happy to be awake (even though sleep is so good) and happy to be driving my car (which needs gas and air in the tires– my afternoon project). Ok, so maybe I wasn’t consciously as happy as all that sounds, but as I drove up the hill past the Tanner and Hinckley buildings, then stopped to wait for the light, I saw something that brightened my day. In the left turn lane was a red car with its flashers on, two young men standing at the back bumper. They were pushing the car. The green arrow came on and they needed to push the car up the last of the hill and through the left turn. They dug in their heels and started going… and Read more…

So today I was supposed to lead the class discussion in my CMPST 640R class. I read the book, read the supplemental readings, and prepared three main questions I wanted to discuss. I marked the passages, wrote out the questions with some guides as to where I wanted the discussion to lead, and went to bed feeling like I was prepared. I woke up, printed off the papers for everyone, and arrived early to class. I began my discussion with a short introduction as to how Book 1 and Book 2 are different, then moved into my first topic of inquiry. Maybe people just don’t like to talk at 8 in the morning. Maybe I didn’t leave enough room for interpretation when I asked my question. Maybe I talked too much, not enough, or maybe I smelled funny. (I didn’t: I showered before class). For whatever reason, though, no one Read more…

I went to get my blood drawn today for a glucose and cholesterol. While there, I also got my blood pressure checked. 108/62!

Today did not turn out to be the day I thought it would be. Certainly not the day I wanted it to be… no one wants days like these. I wish it could have only been a bad day for one person… not two people.Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake. Victor Hugo (1802-1885)

I thought it was time to get a new background for my blog. I’ve had that busy pink background for quite a while, and I was really feeling in the mood for something… different. It’s a little crisper, less frilly, and very satisfying for the onset of autumn and its colorful foliage. I hope to finish tidying my room this weekend (cross fingers, knock on wood, rub the rabbit’s foot). Then our kitchen needs to be cleaned, and it would be really great to get a cute thing or two to make it look like we live there. A rug, a centerpiece…. something. I feel kinda like the mom in my apartment, in that I feel like I do more of the cleaning etc. But then, I also cook more, so it makes sense that I have more dishes to do. (I’m not complaining about this either. I actually loved Read more…

So I’ve come to an important, though albeit disappointing, realization today. I am way too intolerant these days. Quick tempered, easily frustrated with others, not as patient as I should be….RAWR! Sometimes I feel like I could just bite someone’s head off!! Unfortunately, I tend to feel this way at work, which is bad because that’s where I spend the majority of my day. I feel unappreciated for job responsibilities I was asked to fulfill for about 6 months on a volunteer basis. I did a really good job with the assignments I was given, and I still am doing some things they passed off to me. Having become the temporary liaison for that time, it became assumed that I suddenly knew how everything worked in our system. I don’t. I know how to troubleshoot and think things through, but sometimes people still ask me questions as if I know Read more…

I said something intelligent in class today. In my 8am class. And it was even more than a one-sentence response. I feel more legitimate as a graduate student… which definitely feels good. In other news, it’s a rainy day with thunder and lightning. Of course I wore a very summery outfit today. Weather– I refuse to conform! Lastly, this week is World of Dance!!! I am so excited to perform on the big stage with such high caliber dancers. Dancing is like walking to me. Or breathing. I can’t live without it. I hear beautiful music and the dancer in my head moves and creates amazing choreographies.

I sat in the red cushioned seats, trying to ignore the disparity in my vision– one contact in and one contact out is definitely not ideal–while a scene of true beauty unfolded on the stage. It took me the entire dance, but I think I grasped an idea of the underlying concept of the contemporary piece. Ripples. The same movement is made at the beginning and the end, bookending a transcendent array of interactions. As I watched, I was impressed with a sense of the universality of movement– it’s power to connect people elementally. I really wish I had written my thoughts down earlier. Reading more philosophical homework assignments has a tendency to put my brain in constriction, and at this point my thoughts are not coming to remembrance. Sleep, where art thou?